Monday, December 17, 2012

Day 17: Exercise in Frustration

My internet will not stay logged on.  And when it is logged on, it's slower than molasses.  I had the same problem yesterday.   Then Little Sis gets online and everything works fine.

Electronic things just don't like me.

Automatic doors don't open for me.  Sometimes I have to wait for another person to come along so the damn things will open. Other times, I can hop around a bit and they'll work.  It's always been that way, though.  Then came automatic sinks.  Oy.  I'm waving my hand around and finally one will come on for a second.  Usually, I'm lucky  enough for Little Sis to be handy and activate the sensor for me.  Automatic hand dryers?  Same thing.  Motion activated toys will generally ignore me, as well.

Touch screens are a nightmare.  The voting booth was running fine, then suddenly I'm tapping the screen and nothing is happening.  "Use your nail," advised Little Sis.  That actually worked.  But if I ever get a touch screen phone, I'm doomed.  Heck, I can barely get my stupid push button flip phone to work.  I can type something to send in a text, and whatever language it's coming up with isn't english....the letters are, but the words are Swahili or some language twins speak. *shrugs*

There was an episode of the Simpsons where Bart sells his soul.  Suddenly, automatic doors don't open for him, either.

"Well, that explains your problem, mom!", said my kids, since it was a widely known fact that I have no soul.  So, Eöl bought a Soul for me last year.   And still...these gadgets refuse to acknowledge my existence.

There are days that things will work.  Maybe I've borrowed a soul for the day?  Or maybe I just happen to be in the right place at the right time, the planets are aligned, and the moon is in the fifth house (whatever the heck that means). Or maybe a butterfly passed by and set off the detectors. day...when you hear that Country Wife never really existed...that she was some sort of can say,"OH, that explains the electronics."

And now, I return you to your regularly scheduled morning, while I bang my head on the desk and try for the 8th time to get this post to publish, for the 30th time to access my facebook messages, and for the 45th time to log into my bank account.

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