Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The Country Wife Fitness Program

Tired of boring workouts? Tired of climbing stairs that go nowhere?

Then try the Country Wife Fitness Program!


Using our patented LogFlex technology, you'll get the workout of your dreams! You'll get endurance, strength, and cardio, as well as toning and tightening!

No fluorescent lighting here, folks! You'll get your daily Vitamin D in it's natural form as you push the LogFlex up this meandering wooded path... ...and then up this incline. Too easy, you say? Just wait until you've tried it!
Act now and you'll also receive ten free workouts with the Bicep Maximizer!!

Leave the kiddies with our experienced nursery staff!
Be sure to stop by our Organic Fruit Bar for a quick snack!

For just a few dollars a day, you, too, can look like a lumberjack!
Call now!! Operators are standing by! Spaces are limited!!
*offer void where prohibited
*results not guaranteed, especially if you are a lazy slob
*not for food use
*Country Wife and its subsidiaries are not liable for strained muscles, log injuries, internal bleeding, or exploded colons

6 comments:

earth heart said...

This just made my morning! Great comic relief, I love it!!

Southern Goddess said...

Absolutely hilarious! Thanks for the morning giggles.

Country Wife said...

C'mon! Don't either of you want to sign up?? ;)

City Mouse said...

LOL - I was just thinking about this kind of thing ... with all the hand sawing and digging I do at the country place, I find I lose about 5 lbs every time I go up there!

Country Wife said...

I bet you are building all kinds of muscle, Mouse!

Vamp said...

WQell call me a lazy slob compared to your workout! This was hilarious. Especially the bunnies for sitters.