A day in the life

Wake up before the sun rises.

Start coffee.

Shower and dress for work.

Rummage around in the kitchen for something to eat. Realize someone (me) forgot to bake bread and someone (not me) has finished the last loaf. Swipe the very last, lonely pop tart from hubby's lunchbox, drop in toaster.

Lift piping hot, stolen pop tart from toaster. Watch in horror as it breaks, leaving a tiny corner in hand, and smashes on the floor.

Consider eating shattered floor-tart. Decide stomachache isn't on today's agenda and settle for snack bar and coffee.

Attempt online banking while eating. Become frustrated with 'page not found' message...over and over and over. Give up, finish coffee.

Feed cats. Notice pregnant cat is no longer pregnant. Wake Little Sis and help search for kittens. Find none.

Go to work. Get very, very dirty.

Come home, scour hands, and eat while attempting to fix internet issues.

Give up on internet and help Little Sis search for kittens. Again, find none.

On kitten search, notice ripe berries. Suit up for berry picking (long sleeves, long pants, boots, one glove, long stick for moving brambles).

Fight rabid hoard of needle nosed, winged vampires. Lose exactly two pints of blood to vampire swarm.

Pick berries for two hours. Lose exactly one pint of blood to berry brambles. Spend ten minutes picking thorns from skin.

Plan to make jam and blanch zucchini after bathing.

Tidy bathroom and finally take bath.

Decide that after a hot bath, I am useless and exhausted. Give up on making jam or freezing zucchini.

Wash and freeze one gallon of no-longer-blood-soaked berries.

Assist Little Sis in locking up critters for the night. Look for kittens. Find none. Assume momma cat noticed that babies turn into teenagers, decided to save herself some trouble, and ate them.

Wash dishes, fold laundry, do minimum number of sit-ups, tuck Little Sis into bed, and fall into deep, dreamless coma..um..sleep.

Repeat.